Tribute to Roy M. Dopp, Jr. on May 18, 2013
“My name is Buck Dopp. Roy M. Dopp, Jr. is my uncle.
My father is Ron, Roy’s oldest brother. He, my sister Sheila and brother Doug, send their condolences, love and prayers to Ione and the family.
Roy was named after his father. Throughout his childhood, he was known as Junior. In fact, in all of his childhood photos he’s captioned “Junior.” Roy Jr. was the name his parents intended to give him and the one he preferred, but whenever he wrote or called, he said, “This is your Uncle Flip.” He got the nickname from my father who also nicknamed me, “Buck.” Roy joked with me that we had both been given nicknames by my Dad.
I said, “Yeah, but mine stuck!”
Roy Dopp was punctual. If he agreed to meet you for dinner at 6:00 p.m., he’d be sitting at the table at 5:59 or sooner. If he said he was going to do something, he did it. If he couldn’t keep a promise, he told you ahead of time and let you know why. He was always well groomed and dressed appropriately for each occasion, and usually the best dressed person in the room. He loved sweets and liked desert after a meal. He enjoyed watching sports and playing golf. He spent many years in bridge clubs. He had a serious side but rarely took himself or anyone else too seriously. His passion was sailing on the Chesapeake Bay with his friends. He had opinions and wasn’t afraid to use them— and he didn’t take any crap from anyone!
He was a church leader in his younger days but as he got older he didn’t feel the need to attend religious meetings, nevertheless he had a strong faith in God and prayer. He had political convictions and followed them up with community service and encouraged the next generation of Dopps to be active in politics and community service. He led by example. When he lived in Maryland he served as the Chairman of the Laurel Chamber of Commerce and was a board member for six years.
His Christmas letters were literary works of art which detailed all the highlights of his family. Through them I got updates on Susan’s Art schools and career highlights such as selling paintings to Robin Williams; Jeff’s musical endeavors and mountain climbing; Karma’s growing family; and Chris and Shayla’s latest activities. I followed his example and began sending Christmas updates too.
Roy had a good sense of humor and a contagious laugh which he sometimes used to punctuate his funny stories. When there was a camera around him, he couldn’t resist the temptation to make a funny face and joke around. If you wanted him to pose seriously, you had to take the picture quickly. He used to do comedy skits as a young man. In our household he was famous for a skit called “Goof at the Movies.” My Dad made him perform it whenever he came over. He played a character sitting in a movie theater doing goofy things that became increasingly disgusting—things which I’d rather not share here!
My father said he and Roy both nearly drowned as children and so they learned to be strong swimmers and eventually life guards. Roy was a life guard for many years and was always surrounded by young, beautiful girls—for safety purposes! Roy joined the swimming team in high school and went out for every play available. Once Roy got to high school, my father said for the rest of his time in high school he was known as “Roy’s brother.”
Roy graduated from Grandview College in 1949 with a major in history and education. He was very active in student government, music and drama groups.
He was drafted in the U.S. Army in 1950 and served with the 2nd Armored Division in Germany. To me, the significance of his military career was that it only took him 10 months to go from a private to a Sergeant First Class: E1 to an E7. That’s unheard of and tells you the kind of leadership ability he had. They wanted him to become an officer, but that would require him to extend his enlistment so instead he took an honorable discharge. Good move!
He worked for New York life for over 12 years and ran offices for them in Waterloo, Des Moines, and Washington, DC. He spent over 11 years in full charge of 577 garden and high rise apartments composed of 34 different buildings. He finished his career in Utah as a project manager and in Arizona selling and managing real estate properties.
There are four special times I had with Roy which I would like to share.
#1. When we had a cabin on Duck Lake, Minnesota, Roy brought the family to visit us. As we were standing on the dock. Little Christopher was walking along the shoreline picking up pieces of trash. Roy turned to my dad and said, “Ronnie, look at that! Christopher has a social conscience.” That was the first time I had heard that expression but I never forgot it. Having a social conscience was a big deal to Uncle Flip.
#2. In 1990 I helped Roy gather some information for the upcoming Dopp Family reunion to be held in 1993. My assignment was rather modest, I just had to contact a certain lineage of family members, update their information and invite them to the reunion. After a year or so of this historical research I felt like I had a part-time job! I began to appreciate the time commitment my uncle had made in researching family history and genealogy. I began to understand what Roy must have sacrificed to develop our family history in his book, “We’re from Iowa?” One day I asked him, “Have you every tallied up all the hours you spent working on family history?”
He said something I’ll never forget, “Buck, when you’re doing something you love, you never keep track of the hours.”
#3 A few years back, my brother Doug and I went golfing with Roy and one of his best golfing friends. We went to the Emerald Golf Course which is near the Parker Dam. For those of you who’ve never been there, it is the most beautiful golf course ever: you have mountains, valleys, rock formations and views of the Colorado River. The weather was perfect and we were just four dudes golfing. It was the favorite time I had ever spent with Roy—and I HATE golf! Roy was the oldest of our foursome but he out-drove all of us that day. He hit balls off the tee so far I lost track of them. They disappeared! When I said to him, “Wow, you can really drive that ball off the tee.” He replied, “Remember this, you drive for show, but you putt for dough.”
#4 About six months ago, Karma invited Ron and I to meet her, Jack, Jamie and Roy at a picnic table near Grandma’s memorial bench on the shore of Lake Havasu. That’s another time I’ll never forget. They had snacks sitting on the table. Roy didn’t say a lot but he kept looking around at all of us and he seemed so happy just to be sitting with his family around him. He seemed glad to be outside in the fresh air too. Just being with family was everything to him and all he needed to be happy.
But what I will remember the most about my uncle Flip is the love he shared with Ione. They were life partners. They helped each other out. They were companions, best friends and lovers. Roy and Ione were always hospitable, inviting us over for dinner or dessert or just to hang out. They always made us feel welcome. They didn’t only talk about themselves but asked us about ourselves and our children. During the last trying years when he faced one health crisis after another— he didn’t face them alone. Ione was there through it all. They talked, they laughed they cried together in the ER, in the hospital rooms and at home. They shared the good, the bad and the ugly parts of life. Their example of growing old together is something I will never forget. I want Steph and I to grow old together the way Roy and Ione did.
Roy’s cousin Barbara, who lives in Colorado, asked me to share with all of you that she considered it a privilege to witness the love shared between Roy and his beloved wife, Ione.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Brian Haley. Brian was his son and best friend. Roy and Brian had a special bond that you could see when you spent time with them. I’d see them driving around town together—two buds running errands. Even toward the end of his life, when Roy was very sick, he insisted on giving Brian rides from his job at McDonalds because that was an important time for both of them. Brian really stepped up during the last year and did more and more to help and sustain Roy and Ione and shouldered a lot of the household and yard chores.
There’s a section of scripture that I think of at times like these: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
And now is the time to remember the life of Roy M. Dopp, Jr.”
Buck Dopp
